Soda goes missing

I've tried three times to blog and I keep getting kicked out of this site. Maybe the subject matter was all wrong. Maybe I really just want to cry outloud in hopes it will help with the pain.

My dog is gone. I hate the word "dog" because it has been used to describe an ugly person or given as an insult to someone. He is my "friend".

He is the best dog I've ever had and I'm so sick with grief I can think of nothing else.

He took off after being let out before we went to bed and hasn't returned. We've put calls out to every pound, kennel, vet in the area. This place is so big, I can't imagine we will ever see him again.

We had given him a bath so we took off his collar to dry. The tags on the collar have his name and address on them. This is the only time he's been outside without the tags. He's been chipped but who knows if that will do any good.

I am so used to saving the last piece of my toast, or anything I eat for that matter, for him. He follows me everywhere, gets up with me before work, waits at the window for me when I return from work. Would sleep on top of me if he could. He hugs me, I mean really hugs me. Knows when I'm upset so he'll come be near me and always want my attention. I can't stand the thought of not having him around. I just don't know what to do.

I keep praying, but I feel nothing in return, not a sound of comfort or anything. So I think of my niece who lost her son to cancer, and I feel selfish for asking for help from god to return my dog when she wasn't granted to keep her son. But, I love Soda so much. I can't think of anything else. I don't even want to eat.

He left night before last. Today is the fourth of October, so he left the night of October 2nd.