Life is so unpredictable, I began to learn this when my sisters kids didn't include me in their lives any more. I always included them, went to their homes, invited them to bring their kids to Liberty Park and have a picnic, celebrated their kids birthdays, and THEIR birthdays.
Hell, we grew up next to each other, they felt more like my little brother and sisters than my nieces and nephew. Our mobile homes were side by side for crissakes! Connected with a common porch. NO KIDDING! If they needed something, they'd just go over to grammas for dish soap, sugar, what ever they needed, we were the next door grocery store! My mom hated that. She could be kind of a wench to them when they'd asked for something. It wasn't like they wanted the dish soap for themselves, but mom went ahead and bitched them out for it. Poor things, walked away, soap in hand with their tails between their legs. I never said anything because I feared the wrath for myself.
When my sister died, my mom blamed the kids for her death. It was the most cruel thing she could ever have said to them. I rarely took my mom on in a fight cuz she would stand her maternal ground as the adult and put me in my place. But I didn't agree on this point and I put her in HER PLACE over that comment. I think the kids have always thought that I, being my mothers daughter, went along with what my mom thought or felt. They don't contact me much, and I don't think they've ever felt for me the way I feel for them. I taught my niece to walk, babysat them for a whole week by myself at age 15. That was a big deal to me then. I had to cook for them, bathe them, dress them. I babysat them all the time, giving me the bond and feeling of being a kind of second mother. I think because they were so young, they don't remember any of that. But I do, and I still feel love for them like a mother does her kids.
Family has always been the most important thing to me. Lately I just feel like throwing it to the wind. Not my immediate family, just the extended part. We came here to take care of my in-laws. Sold our home of 14 years in Utah, took my son out of his high school, away from his friends, away from my daughters friends, left my newly grieving father who had himself been diagnosed with prostate cancer and lost his wife of 53 years only a month prior, quit my job of ten years, said good-bye to my sister, my cousin, and all the rest of our family and friends and (very reluctantly on my part) packed up our lives and moved to Colorado to help out my spouses aging parents with their needs and to care for them. Now, all that has been for nothing.
My husband felt he had a job taking care of his mom and dad. I work full time, cook, clean, put food on the table, prepare great meals for them. My husband has invested his time, his sweat, his BACK, to improve this place. He's finished a garage, finished the entire basement, put in a watering system for the horses, cared for the land and horses. He's logged so many hours on this place, improved it tons, but to no avail. The in-laws, after a huge ka-fuff-ell, decided to pack up and move back to Utah, leaving us here...............for WHAT!
I feel like what the fuck was this all for? What good did any of it do? I sold my home that my husband had finished every room in and saw that the people who bought if from us have it up for sale, at a price $24.000 dollars over what we sold it to them for. They've got pictures of all the rooms in the house online, we looked at the pictures of it last night, my daughter cried looking at all the hard work my husband had done on it, seeing her bedroom, OUR BEDROOM that doubled as a family room where everyone laid on our bed and watched movies. All the nice wood work in the basement, the wood that my husband inherited from his grandfather who had saved it through the war. I was sick. Especially since all this bullshit has gone down, my own family left in the aftermath of what feels like a hurricane.
I'm being pegged the "contentious one". Rumor is flying through every nook and cranny of our Utah family.
Yes, I flew off the handle. Yes, I yelled. Yes, I WAS PISSED! I had just gotten out of my nerve wracking anxiety wrenched job in cardiac rehab, my daughter and her two kids had come to escape her own home issues bringing her own tension to the scene, my brother-in-law and his "girlfriend" had been living here for a month at two different time intervals and had just "announced" they were moving in..........there were no family meetings or discussions about it.......it was just what they were doing...........not that this is my home or anything. I'm just supposed to go along with everything allowing everyone to just come and live here for months at a time and have no say in the matter. That brought the total amount of people living here to ELEVEN! Five adults sharing one bathroom!
Not only that, I buy the food, cook the food, clean up after ELEVEN PEOPLE (my husband was cleaning after everyone too).......no volunteers on that end! And my "guest" would have to get a full ingredient list of what was in the meal (not volunteering to help in the preparation of the meal) to know if it contained GLUTEN. Then after eating, would head back down to the basement, go behind closed doors and stay there.
So I confronted my father in law about the whole idea of our "live ins"! Since our "guests" had come, things were taken out of our closets at whim, my statue was used as a paperweight to mend an air-mattress, left on the floor to be kicked over or broken. My husbands expensive microphones were found in the hallway, outside of the specialty boxes he loaned them to use as tables, instead the cords and mics were dumped out and his boxes were being used for clothes storage. Medications went missing on more than one account.
We had been invaded.............and it seemed no one who could do anything about it cared!
That was the blow-up! And to top it off, through misinterpretation of meaning of the word "it" in referring to what ever their relationship was, be it lovers, boy-friend/girlfriend, whatever "IT" is, I was told not to call her an "IT". Total misinterpretation on his part. Total misinterpretation.................I was grabbed at the throat and pushed down into the recliner chair being choked at the neck while my father in law watched, doing nothing until I looked at him and asked if he was going to do something about it. Cops were called. I made a statement. No charges were pressed, but I wanted him to know that just because you don't agree with a supposed name someone has called you (you've interpreted it as a "name") doesn't give you the right to choke and threaten another persons life over it.
AND I'M THE CONTENTIOUS ONE! FUCK IT! FUCK IT ALL!
No apologies have been made to me YET! But (and I quote), he's not mad at us anymore!
